Monday, May 29, 2006


Another miserable day.
If I had been a horse, would they have shot me for boredom, I wonder.
It must be boring being a horse, but at least you can sleep standing up,
something I've often tried and it always ends in horror.

If I had been a fish, would I have closed my gills and dropped to the bottom?
Or - If I was a salmon - gone and get laid before dying?

I like the way salmons live.
All their lives they grow, swim, explore and discover, not a thought about sex,
then towards the end - The Great Shag - before the grim reaper comes along asking:
"Was it all that?"

I have masturbated six times today,
I'm still bored and still alive.
The life a salmon never had.

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